nightfox: (Colin WtF)
Something someone wrote in a video summary brought a thought to my head that made me sick to my stomach. (Well, I already was sick to my stomach, have been all day, this just made it worse.)

When interviewed, the J's have kind of blown off the magical reveal. That irritated quite a few of us fans. They've also now revealed that they are going to do a pretty big jump in time between Series/Season 4 and 5 (if Mordred's apparent age is any indication it's going to be a hell of a leap forward).

What if those muthafucka's do the magical reveal off-screen sometime in the years between Season 4 & 5? What if we NEVER get to see it at all?

*screeches and tears out a few handfuls of hair just thinking about it*

They CAN'T do that to us...can they?

Not a nice thought at 3:30am.
nightfox: (Default)
Hello my lovely and caring friends! I can't tell you how much your concern and well wishes have been appreciated. Just a minor update on my healing progress. I saw my surgeon today and he's cautiously pleased about my progress. My x-rays look good and my neck issues seem to be slowly (very effing slowly) improving but now that my neck feels better, my thoracic (middle) spine pain seems to be getting worse and he is not officially allowed to investigate that due to insurance restrictions. Arrrrgg!! So now I have to track down my elusive and silent case manager or (if I can't get her) my case adjuster to try and get that looked into. I hate insurance companies with all my soul.

Still fighting the battle against sleep and drowsy, half-dead wakefulness. When will I have my brain back for more than a few minutes a day? Well, some days I get it back for a few hours and that's when I dive in and write but hell, only 2-3 hours a day of lucidity (if I am lucky) is wearing on my nerves.

In cool news, I want to help pimp the following:


Merlin T-Shirt Design Fest

Prompt List Preview goes up tomorrow April 13 and Prompt Claiming Begins Sunday April 15!
http://merlin-tshirts.livejournal.com
nightfox: (Merlin Sleeping)
I just got back from my first post-surgical visit to my MD and he's very happy with my progress. My incisions are both healing really well and while I'm frustrated with my pain level and continued need for what I consider way too many drugs, he assured me that it's normal and I need to stay on them for a while longer. My x-rays are apparently "excellent", so at least the grafted bone and larger hardware seem to be working out so far.

So I shall continue to be a dopey dish for a bit longer. I keep falling asleep sitting up! Several times I've woken up with my face on my keyboard and the imprints of the keys dug into my cheek and forehead. This morning, my bestie found me just sitting up, cross-legged on the floor, spine straight and my chin tucked down on my neck brace which in turn was braced against my chest, dead out asleep, hands still on my laptop keyboard! And like dead out asleep; it actually took her calling my name several times to wake me up. I never sleep that deep. Usually I am such a light sleeper that if a squirrel farts in a tree two blocks away it'll wake me up!

I hate narcotics!! Even when I need them, I hate them. I had one day of clarity in the past 14 days and it came at the cost of massive pain. Science has just got to come up with a better system of pain control than this. It's absurd!

OK, I am off to nap some more cuz I'm feeling the percocet I just took. On yeah, Doc increased my Valium due to my increased muscle spasms, so now I can sleep even more! Yay. :-|

Good news is no more bandage changing and I get to dump the neck brace in another 2 weeks! I went out for dinner with friends last night to my favorite Moroccan restaurant and I swear, people stare at you like you're something nasty just because you're wearing a visible medical device. How dare I disrupt their mental aesthetics by appearing in public with such an ugly thing on. Shallow twits. On a terrific note though, dinner was Fabulous and I only nodded off twice during the meal :D I need to learn to cook more Moroccan dishes, I LOVE that food!! I could happily eat that 5 times a week.

More good news, I get to start physical therapy in 6 weeks :D Can't wait!

Thanks everyone for all the positive thoughts and well wishing, I really do appreciate it ♥
nightfox: (Default)
I don't normally inflict my issues on everyone else but I'm feeling so odd about the news I got today. For anyone who doesn't know I was involved in a rather terrible auto accident in Sept of 2009. As a result of the accident I sustained quite a few injuries but the worst damage was to my cervical spine. I've undergone several procedures to fix everything that was broken/injured. The last surgery, just over a year ago was a two level discectomy/laminectomy with spinal fusion. I had known at 6 mos post surgery that one of the fusions was still unstable but my MD was of the opinion it would continue to heal. Now it's safe to say it hasn't and isn't going to. So today I got to see the lovely gap where the donor bone they used failed to calcify and left me with an open area in the space where my disc used to be.

Needless to say, I've been in a lot of pain. I'm not sure whether or not I should be happy that I have to undergo the knife again. Finding out that my fusion didn't heal means that there is still hope to fix it and potentially reduce my pain because if he'd found today that it was healed that meant I would have had no hope of anything in my future but drugs drugs and more freakin drugs. On the other hand, it's more surgery on my spine and a more painful procedure at that. I can't say that makes me happy. Also I'd been hoping to go back to work at the end of the month and well, clearly that's not going to happen.

So here I sit, not quite sure how to feel about all this. Is it completely pathetic of me to just wish for it all to go away? I just want my life back.
nightfox: (DarkGirl)
I will never, ever, ever again publish an actual WIP. What the hell did I get myself into? It's not my commitment to story that's an issue, it's the commitment of others that is wiggin me out. I never anticipated having the weight of other people's expectation hang over something I wrote. But here I am, seven chapters into a work and I know it's just going to piss people off when they finally get to the end.

I didn't mean for it to happen! I actually started this stupid thing off with totally different expectations of where the plot was going. It's morphed into something unrecognizable from it's starting point and as such, I can't in good conscience give it the happy ending I was going to originally pen. I unwittingly wrote my characters into a scenario of domestic abuse and I just can not, can not even in a fantasy setting, give lip-service to the idea that abusers change.They do NOT. Well, not without intense personal motivation, self-control and a lot of therapy. Therapy that just wasn't available in the 6th century. Sorry, can't do it. I like fantasy, hell I adore fantasy but I am not perpetuating the fantasy that after beating up a loved one, saying I'm sorry with lots of tears makes it all better. It's only better til the next time.

So, I have readers already begging me for a happy ending that I'm not going to give them and I now realize that this will probably piss off at least 80% of the people kind enough to give my scribbles their attention (& that's likely a conservative estimate). I have come to the conclusion that it's my fault for ever publishing something without having thought it through. It will not be happening again. From now on, anything I post will be finished at least in rough draft form. I'm not going through agonies of indecision and angst over my own damn plot lines again!

As my dear departed father used to say, "Live and learn, kid! Live and learn!"

I mean, this too shall pass, right?

Profile

nightfox: (Default)
nightfox

2025

S M T W T F S

Syndicate

RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Jun. 2nd, 2025 07:21 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios