Hating the Haters

[nightfox]

This is really just a rant but I keep seeing this and it really honks me off. There are two places in particular that this issue keeps popping up.

First, I am a happy member of merlin_finders. I love getting recs from other people's searches and I like being able to help out if I can find something for someone else. All in all, it's a great comm. However, I really, really hate when someone takes the time to emphatically specify, NO SLASH. Really? You have to just spew it out like that? Not, "I prefer gen fic" or "I'm looking for het pairings"?

I mean, I understand that slash isn't for everyone and you are certainly within your rights to read what you want to read but there really is something about the way that phrase reads that just screams homophobia to me.

I find it amazing the amount of intolerance you can cram into two small words. The disgust and disdain that pours off that simple statement is astonishing.

On FF.net, authors show their hate with the same phrase or the slight variant of Not Slash and they often take the time to put in bold, italics or ALL CAPS just to be sure you got the message. Slash is nasty and you won't find it in my pristine little fic!

This has been building in me for a while now. I used to just shrug and keep on going but the more I see it, the more it bothers me. I have to be honest, I don't care how good your story might be, if you label yourself as a homophobe at the very top of the damned thing, I sure as hell am not going to read any further. It's not that I'm exclusively looking to read slash either. I'll take well written het and gen fic any day. But I'll be double dipped in dog shit before I support the work of an intolerant prick!

Same thing goes for searches on merlin_finders. If you say NO SLASH, you get NO FIC from me. I may have exactly what you are looking for in my hot little hands but you have just shown yourself unworthy of my help. Take your shriveled little hating heart and be on your way.

OK, that's it for now. Time for me to go fall on my nose and sleep for a few hours!

Comments

[jelazakazone.livejournal.com]

Oh my god. I have not seen on that on Merlin finders (I think I'm not on that comm) but I hate it on ff.net. I hate it when I click on someone's profile who has just favorited a fic I've written and it proclaims how much they hate slash in their profile. Urk. I'm with you.

[k-nightfox.livejournal.com]

Merlin finders is a great comm but I wish they'd police their posts for bashing because that's what it is in my opinion. Grant you, it's a relatively mild form of bashing but still. I like the way the kink meme is run. No bashing/shaming is tolerated.

[rocknvaughn.livejournal.com]

Hmm. I totally get what you mean. I will admit that, before your rant, I didn't really think about it too much as someone who reads much more het than slash (although, admittedly not so much the case lately! *winks*).

But I clearly see your point. (I actually went onto my account on FF.net and double-checked to make sure nothing of mine was marked that way. It wasn't.)

It's uncool for people to be discriminatory; it's true. But there are people of all kinds in this world, who have been taught and/or believe loads of different things. Rather than rage at them, I prefer to feel sorry for them for their sadly narrow point of view. If I let them have my anger, then I've let them affect me and that's what people like that want.

It sucks that in a society this far removed from caves, people can be so judgemental and narrowminded.

All that being said, there are some Merthur fans who are really in-your-face about it also. I could also see authors marking their fics like that if they've had negative experiences in the past reading fic that was not marked as slash when it was.

[k-nightfox.livejournal.com]

Oh, I pity them. Especially the ones on merlin_finders that I know will never find what they are looking for cuz what they are looking for only exists with slash pairings!

Still, if there is one thing that irks me, it's intolerance. Yes, I see the irony of being intolerant of intolerance but there you have it.

I don't mark my fics as slash. Do het writers feel the need to mark a fic with warnings for heterosexuality? I state what my pairing is and if there is explicit content or anything triggery. If you can't extrapolate that you might run into gay sex when I say: Arthur/Merlin, NC-17 then oh well!

[brunettepet.livejournal.com]

I hear you. Saying gen only is all it takes. Why the need for emphasis? Though
I used to crack up at people asking for canon pairings only and everyone chiming in that Arthur/Merlin is totally canon. I have to agree.

[rocknvaughn.livejournal.com]

+1. Arthur/Merlin really IS canon.

Did you see that pic of Gwen, Arthur, and Merlin on the official Facebook page asking about who's the third wheel? That's funny, because a lot of people would definitely say Gwen!

[k-nightfox.livejournal.com]

Yep, Arthur/Merlin is so canon that even Merlin Official uses a "Merthur" tag.

[harvey-rrit.livejournal.com]

As a victim of Old Fart Syndrome I had to look up slash.

After learning things I never wanted to know about bad music, I was a little startled to learn that written slash was just something involving two people with the same kind of connection port.

From the reaction you described, I was expecting the text version of Goatse or something. I could understand it then. I'm pretty sure running into that unexpectedly has sent people out there wearing dynamite belts. Slash, on the other hand, is something I've apparently been reading now and then for much of my life, and the only time there's been anything wrong with it as a story is when it's clearly Mary Sue material. (Gary/Stu?)

When I'm dictator, _that_ will be restricted to phone sex hotlines.

Also, men will not be allowed to wear Spandex unless they can provide an affidavit from a male sex partner.

Excuse me, I have to go look up gen now.

[harvey-rrit.livejournal.com]

Well, that was dull.

[lambbaby.livejournal.com]

I agree that gen is all it takes. Additionally I hate when people take the time to list all the reasons why a slash pairing will does not appeal to them. Like its cool if you can't see why or how said pairing could happen but i don't need a detailed list of how wrong and unnatural you think it is.

[k-nightfox.livejournal.com]

Exactly.

[floating-fog.livejournal.com]

I get you on that, it's less noticeable in LJ but in FF.net it's practically everywhere! Every second fic contains, and not even in the bloody A/N but in the summery! this words and it's really a troubling thing.

But you know the worst part? The ones who aren't satisfied with hating slash on their own but insist on spreading it all around, in one of my fics, Merthur obviously (can't remember which one and that person already deleted his comment) I got a review from someone who told me that next time I should warn people that it contained THAT kind of things because some people would like to keep their food inside and not see it again. I shit you not that was what he said!

So I checked, just to make sure I wasn't wrong, and I did mention in my A/N that this was an NC-17 rated fic that included maleXmale.

My response to that rude person was the most polite way I could tell him to go fuck himself.

[k-nightfox.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't have bothered being polite, they weren't. Funny, I haven't had any issues with reviews on ffnet but I make it pretty clear that my fics are about slash romance. I stopped putting the malexmale warning up after a few months cuz I was like, hey, are there warnings for femalexmale? No? Fuck it then.

However, I can't stand all the rampant homophobia on that site. I will not read anything that has that No Slash notation on it.

[asya-ana.livejournal.com]

I strongly agree. The message I get when I see this is that if I ship a same sex couple, I should be ashamed. It carries so many more connotations than just those two words seem to suggest--that gay love is wrong, that I am a pervert, that same sex pairings are not worthy, that we are distorting the show in a problematic way. It sickens me. I have never seen that used on AO3. I have only really seen that on FF.net.

And then, if you do write same sex pairings, you feel embattled and prompted to write things on your fic like, SLASH or DON'T LIKE DON'T READ.

Slash becomes a warning instead of a description, and I just don't think that's right. Sexual orientation is not a squick or a trigger.

[k-nightfox.livejournal.com]

Slash becomes a warning instead of a description

A-friggin-men. When I first started out as a baby fic writer, I used to "warn" for malexmale and then a few months in I was like, What the HELL am I doing? I am catering to these bigoted asswipes! No more!

It still bothers me if I see the malexmale "warning" on a fic but it's nothing to the No Slash thing.

[issy5209.livejournal.com]

*treading carefully as don't want to cause upsets - and I there is no intention too either*
As someone fairly new to the whole fanfiction then, (at first I thought slash was like a horror movie!) I don't go looking for things that say not slash, and I'm not completely adverse to them, (it depends on how well they're written, but I do find a lot of cases it just doesn't do it for me)
When I have seen a few authors who seem to rant on about the non-slash status, they seem to be A. Young, and B. hope I'm not upsetting anyone here - Christian, which just makes me think, oh, and I go on my merry way (I saw a good saying once, that said religion is like a penis, don't shove it down my throat, uninvited (or something like that anyway) . I don't think its necessary to state slash or not slash if you've got pairings or whatever.

[k-nightfox.livejournal.com]

And that's all I'm saying. It's no skin off my nose if you don't like slash fic but don't go sneering at it. Everyone has preferences, everyone likes different things. I don't run around posting NO HET on my fics nor do I berate authors for having it in their fics. I read het if I like the pairing.

It's problematic in Merlin that I don't happen to ship the ONLY canon paring the show actually has-Arwen. (I do like some other het pairings that are not canon.) So, I don't read Arwen fics.

I like slash but I don't require anyone else to do so and I don't deride them for their choices, so why can't the same courtesy be extended to me?

(Hee! I like religion is like a penis, don't shove it down my throat, uninvited )

[mrs-leary.livejournal.com]

I don't run into much of what you're describing, I'm glad to say, but it is indeed unnecessarily hurtful and disrespectful.

I'm afraid I've found a similar thing when signing up for big bangs as a writer. As you know, I like to mix things up a bit and give Gaius and Richard a love life and a sex life (at least within my fic, though hey). I am perfectly OK with the artists and betas and so on who are signing up to indicate 'No Gaius' or 'No Richard'. I respect their preferences, and even understand them to a degree.* There is a reason why they are asked to state their preferences, both for and against, and it's a good reason.

However, I find it rather hurtful when the person involved feels obliged to add '{shudders}' or 'Urgh!' and so on. That's really not necessary. It's bashing, too, whether of character or ship.

Mind you, I've never complained to the mods about it, so maybe that should have been my first choice rather than commenting here... I guess I am so used to the notion that these are rather minority tastes and probably will remain so, that I pretty much expect the dissing. And that now strikes me as rather sad!

* Though I think it's a bit sad that so many people in our society are so anti senior-sex and senior-love, and I wonder at what age they will be putting themselves on the shelf... People, you'll be missing out badly.

[k-nightfox.livejournal.com]

Bashing isn't cool, for any reason. With sign-ups, when they give you the space to state your preferences, that's what it's for-preferences. It's not a public forum for character/pair bashing or kink shaming.

I do know what you mean about writing for minority tastes. I do it with my dark fic. It definitely disheartened me when signing up for paperlegends this past year. I was convinced that I'd never get an artist to volunteer for my story. I was resigned to going in as a stand-alone. (Thankfully, I was wrong! I got three volunteers and some of the very best art in the fest!)

As for not pointing it out to the mods, I have been thinking about mentioning the above issue to the mods over at merlin_finders because it is where I see that the most over here on LJ. Unfortunately, there is nothing to be done about ff.net.

(And I agree with you that it's sad that our society is so anti senior-sex/love. I am not, I love to think that everyone, everywhere, at every legal age is getting their groove on. I sure as hell never intend to stop getting mine on if I have any say in the matter!)

[yenny2206.livejournal.com]

Toatlly agree with you hon. I have a friend who is a writer for NCIS, she got some horrible comments regarding her fics for being slashy because one of the main character was in the military. She got to putting SLASH, dont like dont read next before her summary.

[k-nightfox.livejournal.com]

Thanks bb!

See, I refuse to label my fic as SLASH and Don't like don't read until other people start labeling their own as HET and Don't like femxmale? Don't read!


I always state a pairing and a rating (plus trigger warnings) and that's all anyone needs in my opinion.

[millionstar.livejournal.com]

This. Oh, this. Actually, get out of my head!

For my money I've never understood why some feel the need to behave like that. There are things I don't like to partake in, sure, but I'd never proclaim it in a way designed to make those who do partake look like they're inherently wrong for doing so. It's a passive way of passing judgement and classless. Imo.

Life's too short for idiocy. *shakes fist*

[k-nightfox.livejournal.com]

Bigotry is never classy no matter how it's phrased. I shall not allow it to pass. Life is waaay to short to put up with that crap.

[obliqueo.livejournal.com]

Sometimes people can be rude. I seldom go to merlin_finders now because there are some constantly asker(?) post for record again and again, and it seemed that they didn't go through tags at first. It really ruins my mood.
I can understand why they feel they need to emphasize they don't slash, since there are not many gen fic in Merlin. If it's in their own space, FF.net or not I don't care, but if it's in the request it's insolent.

[k-nightfox.livejournal.com]

They actually lose out because people like me just skim right over their requests even when I have the info. I am NOT going to help someone like that. Thing is, I don't mind them asking for Gen fics, but ask for Gen fics, don't say NO SLASH! like it's something nasty!

[thecheekydragon.livejournal.com]

Well said, friend.

[k-nightfox.livejournal.com]

Thank you!!

[tambear13.livejournal.com]

*snort gigle* double dipped in dog shit - is now my favourite line EVER!

Totally agree, it really bothers me too. I react the exact same way as you, if I see it on merlin_finders I usually skip right over the request.

[k-nightfox.livejournal.com]

*grins* Been saying that one since high school ;-)

Yeah, creeps are annoying, aren't they?

[jissai1988.livejournal.com]

Yes it is a bit annoying but being a former slash hater I can't really say much.

[k-nightfox.livejournal.com]

*chokes* What???!!!!

[reverie-indigo.livejournal.com]

I rarely even go to ff.net anymore - ao3 has all the best fic and the writers are of a generally higher caliber. I do go through ff.net heavily filtered, and follow certain authors, but I get pissed off for the same reason you do. NO SLASH to me means "I'm a prissy little judgmental Christian who has unicorns and rainbows all over my pink walls." I don't have anything against Christians, just people who call themselves that. (As opposed to Catholic, Baptist, whatever - 'Christian' as in self-righteous Pharisee. None of them seem to really know anything about the actual Christian message.)

That was probably too harsh, but I'm tired of the homophobic bullshit, and the shrillness of Arwen shippers. They have a visceral hatred of Merthur, whereas I think most of us just find Arthur & Gwen lacking in chemistry and kind of boring. It's not their fault, it's the writing. Both the actors are hot.